Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2 out of 5)

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Studio: Fox
Cast: Benjamin Walker, Rufus Sewell, Dominic Cooper, Anthony Mackie
Rating:R
Running Time:1 hour 45 minutes

Call me old school but I learned just about everything I needed to know about vampires from the classic mid-80s movies Fright Night and The Lost Boys.Rule numero uno: sunlight kills vampires. Period. If it can tolerate daytime, it's not a vampire. So with this in mind, know that everything that is right about Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, none of it overcomes this flaw in it's premise.
By-the-way, there's not a whole lot right with the movie anyway.

Based off the popular novel of the same name by Seth Gramme-Smith, Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter, the film explores the premise of what if the 16th POTUS was motivated his entire life by a deep seeded hatred and personal vendetta against "vampires". (Please take note of the sarcastic quotation marks).

These (historically) creatures of the night masquerade in 19th century America as inn-keepers, pastors, blacksmiths and among other things, plantation/ slave owners. The last of which is morally reprehensible to "Honest Abe" because his mother was killed by a racist "vampire" and his life long best friend is a abolitionist Black man (The Hurt Locker's Anthony Mackie)

The main problem with this film (besides my beef with the misappropriation of the word vampire) is that it moves way too fast from scene to scene. The pace reminded me of the way a comic book reads resulting in very poor character development and cinematic rhythm. Some scenes were no longer than just a few seconds long; about the time it takes to read a page or two of a graphic novel.

The novel is described as  "mash-up" of comic, horror, historical and thriller genres. Unfortunately, the film just doesn't successfully get the chemistry correct. There is little in the way of comedy, horror, thrills or historical accuracy to be found. The script is full of plot holes and logical inconsistencies that make as much sense as the silent "L" in Lincoln's part name.

There is, however, enough action to almost make up for the lack of real substance and logic. If the film aimed to be a mind numbing action fest rather than a high brow thought provoking, good humored historical, study into the fictional motivations of the"Great Emancipator", I may have been less cynical and more forgiving. Ironically, watching a young Liam Nesson looking Benjamin Walker attempt to be an action hero is mildly comedic. Whether this was intentional or not; only the film makers know.

Timur Bekmambetov who directed the 2008 bullet bending Matrix-esque film Wanted, shoots AL:VH's action scenes once again liberally using that super- slowed-down-then-super-sped-up film style that made movies like The Matrix, Wanted and Sherlock Holmes visually clever and stunning.
As a matter of fact, this movie could (arguably) be described as 300 meets Holmes meets Blade although I'm still calling foul in the use of the term vampire! (Yeah, I know, I need to let out go.)

The fact that it was filmed in 3D rather than converted to 3D in post production assists this movie from being a complete disaster as the cinematography is remarkable. The camera picks up the smallest detail of the elaborate period sets and the 3D subtlety enhances those miniscule details.

Despite it's flaws, the movie is still superficially entertaining. It may have that odd quality that one day land it cult classic status. Had it not been rated R this movie could have been perfectly marketed towards a young audience and shaped the vampire experience of todays teenagers like Fright Night and The Lost Boys did for me...as long as they don't mind sunlight tolerant...